Ep.74 Healthy Boundaries: How Would a Plant Keep Them?

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Hello, Hello, everyone! Welcome back to another episode of reconnect with plant wisdom. It’s me, Tigrilla.

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I am so excited to be able to do this episode, because where I live.

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the Internet has been down for the last

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week a whole week.

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Can you imagine having really spotty phone coverage and no Internet for an entire week.

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One thing is when you go on vacation and you plan for it. And another thing is, when it happens in the middle of a very busy week. It was the end of the Damanhurian New Year, and you know it’s as if Mercury was just having a blast. So for the last month I mean month week, it felt like a month. Felt like a month. For the last week

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I had no real Internet. I live in the mountains, as you know, I live in Damon, her in Northern Italy. And yeah, the coverage here for our phones, like, for example, if somebody needs to call me at home, they have to tell me in a message that they’re going to call me so I can move somewhere else because the phone doesn’t really work all that. Well, so you can just imagine what that was like when last episode of the podcast because the Internet was already down.

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Luckily I had recorded it right before the Internet went down when it went, when I tried to publish it, using my phone, the video took

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12 h to upload.

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I leave it there with 12 h to upload. So anyway.

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let’s get to today’s

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conversation. Because when this topic was 1st proposed to me. I really hesitated quite a bit. My views on this topic, like many topics, are a bit unconventional, and I wasn’t sure if I could really explain in one episode

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what I think is important for you to understand and why what you want isn’t really what you want.

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You know how they kind of, say, sometimes, like you want to talk to people about what they want, but you know that you need to give them what they need.

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This is kind of one of those situations. And but I get asked so much about it that I thought, okay, let’s let’s just go for it. If for any reason. Anything I say in this episode is unclear. You can simply ask me about it. I’m always open for a good discussion, and although what I share with you comes from all my years of experience. My ultimate goal is to help you find what works best.

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So I’m always open to a conversation to see how we apply these things directly to you, and maybe it’ll be a little bit different than what I’ll say here. But then again.

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maybe not.

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in case you’re new around here. I’m a nature inspired mentor and a certified life coach, and for more than a decade I’ve been working closely with plants to share their practical wisdom with you, and to really help you consciously embody the elements of life that nourish your evolution.

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So a few things about me, I realize that I’ve been doing this episode. For I mean these episodes, this podcast for a while. And I very rarely kind of explain who I am, I mean the intro sort of says something.

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but it’s not detailed. So let me just let me just give you a little bit of background, because this might help also understand why my thought process is so different, based on this topic. So a few things about me. I have a master’s degree in vegetal future which is plant social innovation design under Stefano Mancuzzo, who is one of the premier scientists in the plant neurobiology world. I’m also an esoteric teacher from various different lineages.

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I used to teach Kabbalah and sacred geometry and astral travel, and more other, more other, more other.

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Isn’t that beautiful? The beautiful thing of making words up anyway. I have a Pcc coaching credential from the Icf. The International Coaching Federation. I’m a Gaia featured expert. So you, if you have a Gaia subscription head on over to divine science and go check that out if you don’t just head on over to tigrillagardenia.com/gaia, and you can check it out. But I’ll put it into the show notes for you.

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And I’m an international speaker on plant communication and consciousness for personal development. So really, you could say that my sole mission, my sole mission, and I talk a lot about the sole mission in some of my coursework is to help you bridge the gap between where you are

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and where you want to be.

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who you are today, and who you want to become, and I elicit the help of the plant came home to do it. So today is episode 74 of the podcast

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and we’re going to talk about healthy boundaries.

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How would a plant keep them

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welcome to reconnect with plant wisdom? I’m your host, tigrilla, gardenia, nature inspired mentor and leadership coach. In this podcast I share ancient and modern knowledge, from biology to spirituality, about the wondrous ways in which plants can help you lead a naturally conscious life.

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Now, in this episode, I want to talk to you about boundaries. Boundaries are commonly misunderstood as permanent solutions to protect ourselves. So by the end of this episode, my hope, my hope, if I do this right is that you will understand that healthy boundaries

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when it comes to the way a plant looks about it which is

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actually my personal experience, even before I started working with plants.

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is really different from the human centric approach that we normally think of. And so I want you to learn what their models are, how you can build them for yourself in order to build up your confidence and create space for your evolution, because that’s really what the boundaries should be. But before you jump in, there’s another thing. This episode’s all about me saying things that for the last 73 episodes I keep forgetting to say, but I’m going to say it, and hopefully it’ll be clear.

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IA big thing you should really know about me is that I love love, love, love, love questions. Many of my classes are actually masterclass style. I give master classes every month on a variety of different plant, inspired topics inside of the naturally conscious community and my master classes have a small presentation where I kind of give you the topic of conversation, which is kind of what the podcast is too, that part of it.

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And then afterwards we have lots of discussion on how to apply this knowledge in your life, because one of the hardest things that I’ve experienced with doing this podcast

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is not being able to answer your questions on the spot, depending on how you watch or listen. You might not even be able to leave me a message. So I really only see comments in the naturally conscious community and on Youtube for all the other platforms that you might be listening to or watching this

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you have, if you have a question, find me on social media. Of course the easiest way to find me is in my own natural, my nature inspired ecosystem, which is, you know, the naturally conscious community which is all about human plant relations. There’s always a link in the show notes for you to join the naturally conscious community. And there I’m going to respond quickly, and you have the benefit of a whole community of people that are really interested in what you have to share. So

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I say this because I, as much as I

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feel very comfortable and confident in the things that I share. I also know that life

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is life, and there’s lots of different roads in life and things that I say that I might sound like are like a hard and fast rule.

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like most plants, means that there’s always an adaptation that we can take specifically for you. So your questions help me not only understand other circumstances, but they also help me help you. See.

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how do you take what I’m saying and apply it? And that’s really kind of the basis of my coaching as a life coach who really touches on all aspects of life, from business to personal development, to relationships to all kinds of different aspects. My goal is to help you take this information, this ecosystem building knowledge that I share as a mentor and apply it into your own life. And I do that really more from questions.

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from expansive and from making you think outside the box, and then for you to decide how you want to apply that.

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I just want to state that because I think it’s really important for you to know that I want your questions. And I’m trying to give you all the opportunities for you to do that.

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So that being said, let’s get back into this whole boundaries thing because I think that there’s a lot we we need to talk about for this. So and because it’s a complex topic, ask me questions. Now, I’ve given you permission. I’ve told you where. Ask me questions.

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So I heard a beautiful quote recently, let me find the quote.

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Compassionate people ask for what they need.

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They say no, when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment. This was by Brene Brown.

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I actually don’t agree with her.

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I agree with compassionate people

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asking for what they need

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when they’ve reached the level of evolution. But actually compassionate people probably struggle the most, in my opinion, to ask for what they need, because compassionate people put themselves in the shoes of somebody else. So it is often compassionate people and empaths, people who can really empathize and feel for whomever it is that they’re interacting with.

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whether that’s 1 on one or in a group setting. They are the ones that are most likely to ask for boundaries, because for them the boundary is what keeps them safe.

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So when I become a spirit, when I became a spiritual healer.

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one of the most which was a long time ago, one of the most common requests that I received was for helping

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create boundaries, to protect your energy, to protect your emotions, to protect you from your clients, to protect from your excessive empathy and compassion, that you have, because again. When you’re compassion, you can see

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where the other person is coming through, coming from, not coming through, coming from, and then you let them through.

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So actually, that compassion is more likely. What’s actually

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kind of making it difficult for you to

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what’s the word I want to use on?

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It’s kind of hard for you to be able to. I’m opening a water bottle. So I have things in my hand to kind of understand that

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there is. There are things that you don’t need to take on, even if you feel it. And this is why, you know, boundaries have become, and shields and blocks have become the kind of common go to. Many of my clients were empaths, obviously, and energy workers of all kinds of sorts.

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And so they wanted to block out overwhelming energies that were coming from groups or or individual clients, or even in their own relationships. They thought that what they needed was like stronger boundaries. Others felt like. They gave away their energy too easily. So the boundary was for that purpose.

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The thought was that they needed something between them and others kind of like a shield that would block out that space.

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The problem is that when you create a boundary you not only keep things from coming in, you also keep things from coming out, and I know that in some states I mean some

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ways and in some scenarios that might seem like exactly what you want, and that’s fine.

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But when you create a boundary, the boundary is kind of

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dumb.

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The boundary just blocks.

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The boundary doesn’t allow for any kind of exchange at all, whether it’s a protective bubble or an actual wall, that you put up an emotional block, whatever word you choose to use it, that boundary creates a division between you

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and others, and it’s

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it requires a certain amount of knowledge for you to create a selective boundary, and I’m going to talk a little bit about that later. But the whole reason that you want a boundary is because you’re not able to be that selective yet. You’re still not able to manage your energy in a way that, or manage your

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vulnerable parts for for lack of a better term, you’re not able to manage them. So, therefore you can’t create a selective boundary anyway, because you’re not there yet. And

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this is where the conflict, when a when a with a whole boundary kind of comes. So what I want to do is rethink boundaries instead of traditional boundaries, which are hard blocks.

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and which kind of again are

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oh, dumb!

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I can’t think of another word unintelligent. They’re just they have a single function. I want you to. That’s a kind of more traditional view. I want to kind of start talking about the idea of looking at it from an ecosystem and from a plant perspective to get a more expansive view, and then we’ll bring it kind of back into the energetic emotional side. So boundaries, basically, as we typically understand them, are barriers, something that separates us and keeps what’s inside safe from the outside.

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Hold on a second.

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It’s amazing how worked up I get as I’m doing this, I get really

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emotional in a good way, like I get really passionate about what I’m saying, and therefore I I don’t know I don’t. Hopefully I am enunciating my words carefully, but what happens is, then my mouth becomes really dry. So, yeah, this is why you see, creators like when you watch Youtube and stuff like that drinking a lot of water. I I think you really do need to drink a lot of water.

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And it’s just water.

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Okay, so basically, what I was saying is that we often create these artificial boundaries, driven by a sense of I’m important, right? Self important. I’m important, and therefore I need to protect myself, or I am delicate. So I need to preserve myself like there we need the feel, we need this, we, we have this feeling of needing to permanently protect what’s inside of this boundary

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and emotional boundaries are usually formed because we believe that we actually can’t handle what’s coming our way. And this is an important characteristic for us to recognize.

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We don’t believe that we can deal with it. So I’m going to put a boundary. I I can’t

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actually stop you from interfering in me in some way energetically, emotionally, psychologically, any of those things. Therefore, I create a barrier, and this is what the most of the world has thought of in a positive way.

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But

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did you know that this is actually the same mechanism that unconsciously creates limiting beliefs?

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It really is the same thing. You create the barrier around that vulnerable part of yourself that you can’t really control, that you can’t take care of. That isn’t strong enough to deal with whatever comes its way or to, you know, ignore it. And so, therefore you create the shell around it. And I’m gonna be talking a lot more about limiting beliefs very soon. So keep an eye out for it, because

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that is one of those areas that I have gone super deep with the plants to understand. And I have a whole new way of looking at it. That, I think, is really going to change your relationship with limiting beliefs.

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But ultimately, whether we’re talking about what eventually becomes a limiting belief. Or we’re talking about your delicate emotions. Or we’re talking about

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your psychological state.

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Basically, when you ask for a boundary, it’s because you think you can’t handle it. So, since you can’t handle something, you tuck away that part of you

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that can’t handle it. You put a boundary in front of it. And the problem is that over time that boundary gets more and more rigid, it’s basically blocking anything that touches what’s inside. Remember a boundary in and of itself is inelegant. It’s unintelligent.

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it it just responds. It doesn’t really know. It doesn’t know how to discern, because discernment is a characteristic of you, not

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the boundary. So what happens is that that boundary gets much more rigid over time, and eventually you find yourself that the boundary has become its own master. It has its own criteria for what it lets through or not lets through, and even you sometimes can’t even access whatever the heck it’s blocking, because we tend to think of a boundary as like something that covers the whole.

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But it’s it’s not really the way we create boundaries. Very rarely do we create only in very specific situations like, I don’t know. Maybe I’m creating a boundary or a shield, because I’m going to a concert, and I can’t handle all that energy. But most of the time.

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if I don’t know how to create that boundary as something that holds all of me, and then know how to discharge that boundary. What ends up happening is the boundary encases itself around a specific aspect of yourself that can’t handle it. And over time you yourself, other parts, other personalities, other aspects of you can’t access. What’s inside.

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So what if I was to tell you that boundaries aren’t really meant to be rigid walls.

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So when we look at the net, at the, at the more natural world.

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we actually learn that boundaries are not supposed to be solid.

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but instead they should be flexible, more like membranes. And this is this is something that I went really deep into when I was studying under Fritov coppra, which I love Copper’s work. If you ever have a chance to go and look at his system’s view of life and his more ecological thinking, and really looking at how you take physics in particular and put a biological coding over it. It’s

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fascinating. But the idea of boundaries as more like membranes

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are now we’re getting into a direction that’s much more flexible, and allows us to

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have the same functions that we’ve been looking for

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with much more flexibility to ensure that we don’t keep out things that we actually want, and that we give ourselves the space we need for what it will take us to be strong enough to handle things differently. Let me try to break that down a little bit better.

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So in nature, healthy boundaries, like membranes like living membranes evolve, they adapt. They change according to the needs of the moment.

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They’re very rarely rigid and soft. You can’t even really see where an ecosystem starts or begin, because there is an ecotone in between which is the place where the 2 ecosystems

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interact, and that creates its own little environment, too. So it’s a very fluid. It’s it’s kind of like the aspect that we don’t. We think that this is where my body ends.

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But remember, we have. If you look at it from a spiritual perspective, an aura. And then there’s also other aspects from the physical perspective. We really are not as solid as we think. We are. So, therefore, when you think of a boundary more as a membrane, with a fluidity to it that allows certain things in and out and others not, it gives us a lot more control.

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and it gives us the space that we need in order to evolve whatever it is that we’re protecting in the moment.

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while at the same time giving us also permission to modify the membrane as time passes, based on my own evolution. So as I get stronger, the membrane can change.

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I was reading actually something about Aldo Leopold recently. He was an American writer and a philosopher. He was a naturalist and a scientist, I mean, he’s a little bit of everything. You know. People call him an ecologist, a forester, a conservationist, an environmentalist. Basically, he was really, really, really influential in the development of modern environmental ethics.

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and he was involved in wilderness conservation. So he really was thinking about conservation from a perspective, also an ethical. What is our ethical duty, but also what are the ethics that surround our interaction with the environment?

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His ethic really offers a such a valuable perspective here, because what he said was a boundary is right when sorry. Let me say this better. A boundary is right

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when right is incorrect, when it preserves the integrity, stability, and beauty of the community it serves.

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But when a boundary stops serving these purposes, it becomes a problem

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so rigid boundaries, whether we’re talking about in relationships or work or personal life they can lead to stagnation and lack of growth, because, again, a boundary should be protecting what’s inside, as what’s inside is changing, as what’s inside is becoming strong enough or developing in order to be able to deal with the outside world. If you think about the you know

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the baby right. A baby is encased inside with all of the amniotic fluid, right? In order to give the baby an opportunity which is a membrane. Again, remember, from that fluid things can flow in through that membrane and actually flow out. So one of the most delicate parts of the natural world. A baby

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can still have things that flow in and out through that membrane, and that membrane protects the baby through the growth that embryo as the embryo is growing and becoming strong enough to be able to deal with the outside world so that membrane has a function. But it’s temporary.

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and that’s really what nature does. Nature does not build rigid walls, but flexible living membranes and boundaries need to be able to continuously adapt. They need to be able to realize what has changed in the environment in which it’s immersed in and therefore adapt to it. Because when they don’t, that’s when they become limiting beliefs.

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that is, when something that you thought was there to protect you eventually harms you because it limits you from doing things.

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So when we look at plants as models for healthy boundaries.

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For example, looking at a plant cell which is a membrane. Again, how it adapts to the elements that need to come out! Then the plant evolves new strategies and dissolves the boundaries. Once growth is achieved. So there are some boundaries that over time merge with other items creating a new boundary, or maybe dissolve out in order for what’s in to

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touch in or connect to something else, so very rarely do we have one particular piece. Remember how I told you. It’s very rare that you can have a boundary that’s around all of you.

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and it’s usually around some part of you, even if it’s an emotional part, a psychological part an energetic part, a body part it can. It’s usually there for something specific. And again, if you don’t recognize that, it’s only doing that, it starts to operate on its own, based on conditioning and automation. Right? It starts to just work as an automated process, an automated response, and therefore

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it becomes more and more and more rigid, until you yourself can no longer access what’s inside of it.

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Before I started working with plants, I would often start my clients with, who would ask me for boundaries, because it was again a very common request. What I would say to them is that I’m going to teach you a very simple shielding technique.

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But but

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this technique is only for you to use while you build up your inner magic, you build up your inner strength. It is not intended to be something permanent. Therefore I’m going to teach you a technique that you actively have to turn on and off. It’s something that you turn on when you need it, and you turn it off when you don’t, because that mechanism of turning on and off again the temporality of it ensured that they didn’t get stuck in, permanent on mode.

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because permanent on mode.

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is exhausting. Have you ever been around somebody who’s really, really, really bothering you? And it actually bothers you. It’s bothering you right. And you’re trying to ignore this person. You’re trying to ignore that this person is

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constantly bothering you.

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Aren’t you exhausted at the end of the day.

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I know I am. I’m I’m like, I can’t handle it anymore, right?

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But if you have somebody that’s obnoxious around you.

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and that’s your definition of that person. I’m not saying the person is obnoxious to everyone. But let’s say, somebody who bothers you. Have you ever noticed that once you’ve done certain amount of inner work, there comes a point where you’re around this person who’s usually obnoxious to you, and they just don’t bother you.

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It’s like you sit there, and where you actively used to have to like. Put all your energy into ignoring or blocking, or having a boundary with this person. All of a sudden this person tries to talk to you, and you kind of almost look at them as if they’re not there like it just

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washes

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past you.

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That’s the type of inner work I’m talking about. The boundaries should only be there. The shields, the block, whatever word you want to use

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while you evolve of the very thing that you’re trying to keep a boundary from

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the goal is never for it to stay there. So because again, they’re inelegant solutions. They’re unintelligent solutions that don’t allow for any kind of flow. So they do provide stability which sometimes you really need. So sometimes actively setting the boundary for you to have that stability, but they can also lead to isolation and to stagnation which we’ve talked about multiple multiple times. Right? We’ve talked about it in multiple episodes of the podcast of the difference between the flow

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and the stabilization or stagnation which, again, stabilization can be really important for a short period of time, and then you need to apply that back into the flow, so you might need a boundary from somebody or something, or while you’re working on something, but it needs to be temporary, because that’s the way the plants would build it in an ecosystem.

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and as your ability, you know, and then the other thing that I would do with my clients, which I really loved doing, and I still use for myself, I’ll have to be honest. Is that once you get to a place where your abilities are a little stronger in moments where in the past you used to use a boundary like a shield of some sort or a boundary of any sort.

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I would help them actually create a filtering mechanism. And this is something I still help my clients create. Imagine that you’re in a bubble. Right? So again, I’m going to a concert. I’m in a bubble. But this bubble now has a filter on it.

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And so it’s taking in everything. It’s taking in all the energies of the people of all sorts, right? The the drug induced energies, the super ecstatic fun energies, the energy that would like drain you, the energy that instead gets you all excited. All of it is taking it in now in the past when you just use a simple shield, all of that gets cut off from you.

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But when you have a filter on it, and you program the filter based on the need. So and again, an adaption I adapt, based on what’s necessary. Then I can suck everything in right. As I walk through this concert space. I can take it all in. But my filter is intelligent because I’ve programmed the filter.

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And what I’m doing is I’m throwing out anything that is harmful. I’m letting it slide off the outside of this bubble, this boundary that I’ve created around myself anything that doesn’t serve my evolution that doesn’t serve my fun for that night. It shouldn’t touch me.

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and this could be people or energies or emotions. Trust me when I go out. If there’s somebody who wants to talk to me that I don’t want them talking to me. I almost become invisible, like. I can’t even tell you how many times I have been walking with a girlfriend and had somebody come up and be like Hey, baby! And they do it to my girlfriend, and they do not touch me at all. They don’t even look at me

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because my filter takes in all of that crap and it filters it right out, and it just doesn’t, even if I it doesn’t even bother me. I don’t even hear the person I usually like. If my girlfriend’s having problems, I’ll grab her, and I’ll push her into my bubble, and I’ll be like all right. I need you to trust me for a second. Let go. Let me be the defense mechanism. But the thing is that sometimes some of these people have really interesting things to share with us.

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and if we put a boundary up it’ll block that all out. So I like using the filter because the filter allows fun and interesting facts and maybe energies that might serve me, that I’m missing, or that I could use in some way it lets it all in.

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and when I started working with plants I was delighted. I was so delighted to see that Ken and I were aligned on this approach to boundaries.

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We were really creating membranes. They use a membrane, you know, can use. They don’t build. These hard walls, can build instead these membranes that are permeable and know what to let in and what to let out. And that’s exactly the function of my filter. They create this fluidity, and that ensures the health of what’s inside. Because when I have that filter, or when now, I create more of a membrane.

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when I create a membrane where the whole thing is a giant filter. Then I have I I can bring in the things that actually nourish me throughout the experience rather than being drained from having to hold up a rigid barrier.

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So there’s a boundary to every healthy system, right? Every single healthy system has that, and often this boundary, again, is a membrane, not a hard wall, so like the cell, the the cell membrane, it allows things to flow in while preventing others from crossing.

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But the most important aspect that I cannot emphasize enough is that it needs to be intelligent enough to adapt and change based on what’s needed at the time, and it needs to give you space. So it has to nourish you in order for you to be able to adapt. So you need to learn how to turn it on, turn it off, and eventually over time. Once you become stronger.

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how to program what comes in and what comes out and what I love is that plants are constantly evolving new strategies to handle

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different threats and opportunities. So it’s not like the membrane doesn’t change over time. It’s not like you. Set it and go. That’s the whole point. The whole point is that the membrane is constantly evolving with you, getting bigger and getting smaller. That’s how it is for plants. It’s moving around. It’s changing its composition in order to support the growth of what’s inside. And once that growth is achieved.

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the boundary might dissolve, the boundary might merge with another.

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or the boundary might just be

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completely changed in order to make space for a new stage of life.

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I don’t know why we got into the habit of creating these sort of rigid, fixed walls, you know, whether they’re literal or metaphorical, that lead to stagnation. I don’t understand how we got caught up in this, and why so many people actually teach it again. I understand that the word boundary might have many different definitions, but I just find it almost a shame

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when we kind of put in this tight limit to what exactly a boundary is. And again, I feel it really pains me when I start working with somebody with really strong limiting beliefs, and when we start working through them, we realize that that limiting belief was originally something that they created under the idea and the guise of being a boundary. And so

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what’s most important to learn, and this is where plants can be extremely fantastic guides, and and where sometimes you need some help in order to get there is how to create the right boundary for a specific context or a life situation, and that boundary has to be able to be permeable enough for what’s inside to thrive, to grow, to have space to evolve.

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And so, because if the life that’s inside isn’t thriving.

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we should really focus on adjusting the boundary 1st rather than trying to fix yourself within it. So when you find yourself

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almost cut off.

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don’t think of it as something you need, and you’ve put up a boundary, whatever kind of boundary that might be. Look at the boundary, because it’s the boundary that doesn’t have enough space for you to get the nourishments

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like I said. Plants don’t create boundaries to keep things out. They create these fluid boundaries in order to make sure that flows in. So I really want you to take that lesson to heart. This is something that will prevent us from consuming too much of our energy by holding

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the boundary, and it doesn’t really allow us to get the reserves that we need to grow, so keep that boundary active, in other words, apply it, and then remove it for as long as it’s necessary to ensure your growth.

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not for it to be a permanent fixture in life, once the growth that you need to reach that might be. I don’t know this person that really annoys you, not being something that you even think about anymore. Or you’ve got a broken heart, and you need to create a boundary around yourself for a small period of time for you to be able to work through that broken heart. So you do need to keep people out.

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And then at some point you allow people to come in, but when your boundary is too rigid and it doesn’t have any kind of parameters from the very beginning, you might find yourself that this is when you become hardened or jaded, as many people say, and this is something that will hurt you in the long run. So your ultimate goal is to be sort of your own filter.

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Where things that don’t serve you naturally fall away, and things that nourish you are allowed in to your most closest parts of yourself.

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I love something that Mark Groves once said he said. Walls keep everybody out. Boundaries, teach them where the door is. Now, this is a little closer to what we’re talking about. It’s kind of like my filtering mechanism, and the door in particular really requires that you are at a place where you feel ready to make that choice as to what comes in or comes out. So the door is kind of that can be opened and closed.

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But we have to always remember that even if it’s a door it can’t be static. It has to be dynamic like the ecosystems around you. They need to be something that we use as tools for our evolution.

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and that help us kind of maintain a space for us to become more resilient and empowered. But once we are resilient and empowered, they have to be able to fall away. So you have to have a plan for them to actually dissolve or going away. So

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hopefully, this has been really kind of clear, you know. It’s I know I’m saying it a lot of I’m trying to say the same things in multiple, different ways, because in an ecosystem, right, each organism

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grows, thanks to its interaction with others. Right? We talk about this all the time, symbiosis, mutualisms, even competition, and even other predation. These all help you evolve. So even things that feel bad or hard

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aren’t necessarily something that hurts you but could be, on the other hand, enhancing your evolution. So it’s important, again, that the membrane gives space for that, that the boundary is actually fluid enough for those. When you hold your boundaries for too long, there’s no interaction, and therefore your growth stops, no matter how much you’re working on things, even if we’re talking about something like grief.

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or we’re talking about the fact that I was hurt and I have a trauma that I’m working through.

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Ultimately, you are eventually going to need to let others in, whether that’s.

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you know, therapist or a coach, or even trying out some of the things that originally hurt you in small and safe ways in order for you to gather up new information to help you heal from that. So really, we need to use boundaries as tools to evolve rather than rigid things that we hold up at the time.

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So when we shift our perspective on boundaries, and we align with a more natural aspect. We actually really move out of a rigid, protective silo that we keep making, and into dynamic webs of respect and gratitude and reciprocity, because again, that membrane allows these things in

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reciprocity and gratitude, because you’re putting them out. So it’s allowing it out, and then it can flow back in. They empower us. In that case the boundary in this case

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actually empowers us to develop within the safe space that they can provide. But the ultimate purpose

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is for them to be eliminated because we want to evolve so that I don’t actually need it anymore. So we really want to learn how to use boundaries to grow, not as permanent fixtures to hold us back.

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So look, you have every right to say No, without feeling guilty, you have every right to say that. And as you know, this is, I want you to learn how to use. No, and I know that sometimes the boundary is what’s going to uphold it. And so, therefore, since the boundary is going to hold that no, for a period of time, until you yourself feel comfortable with the No until you yourself don’t say no as a response, but more of

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no, it’s just not a part of me. Once you feel so comfortable that no is an instant. That requires very little energy expenditure, because you’re so comfortable with saying it.

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then the boundary is no longer needed.

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But while the boundary is still holding tight that no is going to feel energetically exhausting. And that’s a good indication that says I’m still not ready.

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Healthy systems have living adaptive boundaries and not hard walls, and when a system becomes fully healthy, for whatever its function is, it no longer needs that wall at all. So when you know yourself, you trust your abilities, and you love your authentic self. No one’s energies or emotions can move you off your path.

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No one, no one. It’s not always easy to get there. But getting there is really the goal. The boundary is to help you get there, not to hold the boundary

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hopefully. That made sense. I know it was so much. But I told you that this is like a hard topic for me to put into a conversation, because there’s just so many aspects of it. I could even go on and on. But today we really just focused on how plants create fluid boundaries to support your internal health and to support your growth, and that once your personal growth is achieved, wherever you’ve evolved to

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any kind of boundary that you’ve created should fall away. Because that’s what allows for continuous evolution? So my question is

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before you create a boundary.

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Do you really need that boundary?

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And if you need that boundary, what specifically, is the boundary for. And can you program a type of boundary that allows that.

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but doesn’t allow in anything else

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that allows for just that one thing that we need to be protected and everything else can actually flow.

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And more importantly, here’s my other question. If you’ve created a boundary which means you’re trying to change something specific.

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How can I help you evolve that specific thing so that you can eventually let go of the boundary? That’s my question to you, which you can answer again, if you’re watching on Youtube in the comments. And if you’re listening to this, you can head over to any of my social media, which is just my name, tigrillagardenia. Or you can go into the naturally conscious community because I really want to hear about your experiences with boundaries.

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Imagine yourself having someone to help you embrace your entire being, to honor all your multi passionate nature, and to help you evolve your talents so that

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you don’t really need any of these boundaries after time that boundaries get used as a tool, that you learn how to apply them and remove them as necessary. And together. I really want to help you build that confidence that you need to stand in your authentic self and easily say yes to what flows.

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and easily say no to what doesn’t like, with not even a hint of energetic expenditure, just like no, that doesn’t fit me

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so that no, you don’t have any need for a boundary that actually blocks you. You can take the best of what comes and everything else will just

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slide off

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anything. Can we do it?

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Because I think we can. I think you totally can. I really do believe that?

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Look, this is another big topic. And so, if you want to talk more about it. Or you want to support this type of nature inspired evolution. I really hope you will join us in the naturally conscious community. This is the premier online ecosystem that nourishes plant reawakening and community support for accelerated evolution and co-creation with other kin.

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with plants, with fungi, with all kinds of different more than human

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beings. And we we love them. So there you’re going to really find expansive discussions, multiple courses, a book club, a writing group, an active community flourishing with plant inspired support. And we’d love to have you with us. I’d love to hear your voice, your questions, your needs.

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and so

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remember that

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whatever you do, resist the urge to hold back your evolving green brilliance.

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This is another episode. Episode 74. We made it through. And this is me, Tigrilla Gardenia. I’m out

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bye.

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Thanks for listening to this episode of reconnect with plant wisdom, intro, and outro music by Steve Schuli and poinsettia from the singing life of plants. So join me, Tigrilla, Gardenia, and my plant collaborators next time on reconnect with plant wisdom. Speak.